Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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