She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
