plz talk dirty to me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
