he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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