Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
