The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
