So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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