Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
