Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
