They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I know her cup size but not her name....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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