is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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