The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ladies don't puke and tell
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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