apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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