Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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