Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
