I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
