Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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