This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
