We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There's always time for handjobs
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize