All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
