if only i could text you this smell
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
