yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
