But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
