So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
false alarm, still single
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize