yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
