Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
