You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
