Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
