Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
