already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
