He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
