So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just found puke in my bra..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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