I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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