Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize