Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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