He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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