yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
