Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
