Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
