i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
