And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
