Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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