I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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