She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
