i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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