They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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