Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
