we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
two words: eviction party
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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