spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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