he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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