We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
