If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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