whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
