I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
