We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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