this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
