Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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