if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
