If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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