just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize