can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
