I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
