Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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