I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize