Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
did i walk over a car last night?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
